INTRODUCING THE BRILLIANT CHRIS ROSE

Chris Rose is a columnist with the Times Picayune in New Orleans. He went through Katrina and was, in fact, hit HARD by Katrina...but that story is for another time. Mr. Rose is married, has two kids and like most of us has high hopes for a better America. The following column was published on October 26th and I thought it was worth sharing.

THE LEFT AND THE RIGHT OF IT by Chris Rose

I am a liberal.
There. I said it.
And I am a conservative.
There. I said that, too.
I apologize for any offense caused by my use of these two most profane, insulting and debasing words. But on the eve of this historic presidential election, I believe we must face with raw, unfiltered language the issues that divide us.
There's no getting around it: The C-word and the L-word are at the root of our nation's Great Divide. Together they are the elephant in the room and we need to wrestle it to the ground before we all end up looking like asses and, yes, puns intended.

So I'll say it again: I am a liberal.
I don't hate America. And I don't hate conservatives. Some of my best friends are conservatives. I am tolerant. I believe that people are inherently good. I believe in free markets and personal responsibility.
I believe you can do, say, buy, sell, think and believe just about anything you want as long as it doesn't endanger me or anyone else. That, after all, is the fundamental tenet of liberalism.
I believe that government's role in our lives is to ensure all individuals, regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation, access to the Declaration of Independence's promise of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."
I don't think your traditional family values are any more traditional or valuable than mine.
I think religion and politics are a bad mix. I believe ministers should focus on matters of salvation, charity and public service -- not taxes, endorsements and my sex life.
I believe in science. I believe that faith is just that. Your God is not better than my God. I do not believe that Jonah spent three days inside of a whale. I do not believe that I will burn in hell for not believing this.
I believe in prayer. But I don't think God talks to people. When clerics, ministers and preachers say he talks to them, I think they are lying. Or hearing things.
I don't really have a problem with the mainstream media other than it's too conservative. I don't think Fox News is fair or balanced. In fact, I think Fox News is the mainstream media.
I believe we need to wean ourselves off foreign oil and fossil fuels and fast.
I believe that I should be able to read whatever book, watch whatever movie and listen to whatever music I want. I don't believe I should have to listen to your music, though, so turn it down please.
I believe in taxes. I believe the more you make, the more you should pay.
I believe marriage is a civil union and that no one should be denied their civil rights. I believe the only homosexual agenda is that which encourages men to dress sharp, listen to more music by divas and take better care of their skin.
I think flag-burning laws are distractions from real issues and a violation of the First Amendment. If burning a flag is the only way you think you can make your point, then have at it. Just be careful, please.
I think Barack Obama is a great man and a great American. I just might vote for him. Except that .¤.¤.

I am a conservative.
I love my country.
Some of my best friends are liberals.
I believe in free markets and personal responsibility. I believe you can do, say, buy, sell, think and believe just about anything you want, as long as it doesn't endanger me or anyone else. That, after all, is the fundamental tenet of conservatism.
I am a Christian. I don't think that word is synonymous with "conservative." Many politicians and preachers have tried to link the two for their own personal gain and that pisses me off.
I believe the Bible and the Constitution are the two greatest documents ever written. I sometimes cry when I hear the national anthem. I believe the 10 Commandments just about says it all.
I think religion is as important as any other subject and should be taught in public schools. After all, I can't recall a single instance in which two countries waged war because of their differing views on algebra.
I believe all young adults should be required to spend one year in the military or in public service. I thank soldiers and police officers for what they do every chance I get. If I owned a diner, I would give them all free coffee whenever they wanted it.
I believe I should be able to own a gun if I want one.
I believe in freedom of association but I don't believe I should have to associate with anyone I don't want to be with. So don't make me.
I believe in state's rights, a balanced budget and term limits. I don't believe in welfare. If you want money, work for it. Somehow, some way, earn your keep. And I believe we should drill, baby, drill.
I don't believe our prisons are overcrowded. Actually, I don't think there are enough people in them. I reject the notion of rehabilitating recidivist criminals. I say, lock 'em up.
If my religion says that marriage exists only between one man and one woman, so be it. If you disagree, find another religion.
If I saw you burning an American flag, in all likelihood, I would try to hurt you.
I think John McCain is a great man and a great American. I just might vote for him, because I am a conservative.

Except that I am also a liberal.

And I am your neighbor, your ally and your fellow American -- like it or not. I will fight to defend your right to your beliefs. And I'd appreciate it if you'd do the same for me.
I don't care if your great grandfather owned slaves or was one. Neither speaks to your own character.
We are of the same blood, the same family, the same great nation -- a nation crippled by false prophets and phony distinctions. Our cultural divide was created not by the hands of God -- neither by your hands and mine -- but by the forces of political expedience.
Keep this in mind: God is not a registered voter. But I am. And I am not your enemy.
So, please: For the love of country: Stop calling me names.
Both of you.

This and past columns by Chris Rose can be found at http://www.nola.com/. Columnist Chris Rose can be reached at chris.rose@timespicayune.com

JOE McCAIN - ELITISM TO THE MAX

Check out this news report from ABC7 in Alexandria, Virginia which also serves Washington D.C. (This is no joke...but it IS sooooo funny!)

THINGS ARE GETTING McNASTY

As you have heard, PBS has posted a poll asking if you think Miss Prissy Pants is qualified to be Vice President. The right wing 'somehow' got advance notice and has been flooding the poll with "YES" votes. This phony response WILL hit the mainstream media soon unless you help to change it around. Please take a minute to access the link below (if you haven't already done so) and vote a phat "NO!" on the poll. Then email all your Dem and Indy friends to do the same. (While you are at the PBS polling site, check out "About the Sarah Palin Poll"....very interesting stuff.)

http://www.pbs.org/now/polls/poll-435.html

I have also noticed that Republicans have started a whole new line of strategy. They are going to spend the next week (mark my words) saying that Obama is anti-Israel and anti-Semitic, hoping to win Florida, which boasts a huge Jewish retiree population. On CNN last night, Ari Fleischer was saying just that. Shame on you, CNN.... could you find a more washed-up Republican pundit? Or is it actually getting THAT hard for REAL news sources to find someone to speak for the right? According to Fox Schmooze, The LA Times has a tape of Obama at a party for a Middle Eastern leader (I don't know who) where some bad things were said about Israel. Now Obama didn't say a word against Israel, but they are touting that the fact that he didn't walk out or stand up and say something, proves that he is somehow anti-Semitic. Or at least not Pro-Israel. I don't know all the details and I haven't heard it from REAL news sources yet. Fox Schmooze reports that the LA Times, which has endorsed Obama, has refused to release the tape. However, you can bet there is a second copy out there and one will end up at FOX Schmooze somewhere, somehow. You can read everything you'd like to know about Obama's views on Israel at his website, http://www.barackobama.com/ . Click on 'Issues', then 'Foreign Policy', then 'On Israel'. I can assure you that Obama is very Pro-Israel. Frankly, I have mixed feelings regarding our spoon-feeding of Israel....but, I digress......Obama IS definitely Pro-Israel.

Also, I have received several emails, either directly or forwarded (maybe you have, too?), that are espousing Obama policies that are just plain fictional and untrue. Some are sooooo bogus, they are laughable. But the fact remains......the Reps have extremely expensive twisted panties and will do ANYTHING to try to change things around to their favor. There is such HUGE money at stake for tons of obscenely rich people and corporations, that I fully expect the McCain machine to roll out some pretty scary accusations as Election Day gets closer and closer. Think photo-shop. Think enhanced voice-overs, etc. Think any means of false reporting about anything to ruin the Democratic name and reputation. Its coming....expect it....and laugh when it happens.

Last but not least, go out and VOTE on Tuesday!!!

(Don't forget to hit that above link! Thanks, Russell, for the heads-up re: PBS Sarah Palin poll!)

POLITICAL DANCE-OFF!!!!!

No intro necessary....just hang on til the end for the special guest!!
(two and a half minutes of fun....)

POLITCAL PROSE

Once upon a time there was a Prez named Bush
He cooked our goose, And he kicked our toosh.
The Bush admin has told every lie,
And its finally time for a phat "Bye-Bye".

Now elections are coming around,
Time to boot that idiot clown.
It all comes down to the final two
A choice to make for me and you.

Lets see if I can make it easy,
I’ll try to keep out all the sleazy
Give me just one tiny minute,
You will see the genius in it.

On the right side is McCain and Palin,
No cell phone, internet or e-mailin.
A USA future, they just don’t get it.
The war in Iraq will get worse if you let it.

War-loving McCain wants to bomb Iran,
He'll want to hit Russia with a hard hand,
His health plan’s enough to make you quite sick,
You should worry about the Supreme Justice he’ll pick.

McCain keeps crying about Acorn and Ayers,
Nobody’s listening because nobody cares.
He just can’t seem to convince us with issues,
Cries "The media’s biased!", (lets grab our tissues).

Obama and Joe will lower our taxes,
They’ll tell us about it with emails and faxes.
While the wealthy lose loopholes and gain taxability,
No more worries about the Bush/Chaney senility.

We’ll finally be dealing with warming thats global,
Finding new energy to make ourselves mobile.
It might take them awhile to fix our economy,
So have the tums ready to settle gastronomy.

But if your tummy just can’t seem to take it,
At least, with HIS health plan, you know you will make it.
Education will again be on top,
Deregulation and greed will stop.

He’ll let the world know that we’re no longer stupid,
They’ll love us again like they’ve been shot by cupid.
Diplomacy first but then fight if we must,
He’ll finally get Bin Laden, I trust.

It might get scary, but don’t get mad,
It took 8 yrs for it to get this bad,
Could take awhile to get back on the road,
There’s ropes to untangle, shit to unload.

But please, on the 4th, give Obama your votes,
So we can be rid of all those old goats.
There’ll be a new hope in the storms that we’ll weather,
A brand new America and we will be in it together.
.

SARAH PALIN WHO?

Sarah Palin. Miss Prissy Pants. The Caribou Barbie. Hockey Mom. Pitbull with lipstick. Pig with Lipstick. Oink. Vice President of the United States?

Lets review. We know she is the Governor of Alaska and she can see Russia from her house. The State of Alaska has 700,000 citizens, more or less (about the same amount of people reside in San Francisco). Before she was governor, she was Mayor of Wasilla, AK, a city of 9,780 people and the meth capital of the state. Additionally, Wasilla has the highest rape count per capita in the United States and that she enacted a law, as Governor, that charged victims of rape with their own rape kit costs (hello?), saving the state thousands of dollars. We know that she said, as Governor, she sold the state jet on Ebay, saving the state thousands of dollars again. Oh, no, wait, that's wrong. That is what she SAID she did but as it turned out, it was sold by a private firm at a loss to the state. Although she has lead everyone into believing she was flying commercial from then on, she actually was utilizing a law enforement turbojet to get her around the state. A 'search and rescue' aircraft that has been shown to be in her command 20% of its logged flight time. She stopped the Bridge to Nowhere from being built, saving the feds millions and millions. No, wait, that's wrong. She stopped the bridge project but kept the money, and then proceeded to allow the construction of the road leading right up to the bridge that isn't there. So now there is, literally, a road to nowhere instead of a bridge to nowhere. Oh, one more thing. The road to nowhere was built with $25 million of Federal funds. She said she never abused her power as Governor. No, wait, that's wrong. After firing the head honcho of the Alaska State Police for NOT firing her sister's mean ex-husband, the TrooperGate report says she DID abuse her power. (You can find the actual report within a previous post on this blog.) But, apparently, Miss Prissy Pants was too busy reading all the magazines and newspapers ever printed (just ask Katie Couric) to actually read the TrooperGate report. Which brings us to Katie Couric. I think its pretty safe to say that the Pitbull with Lipstick will not be sending Ms. Couric a Christmas card for obvious reasons. Ms. Couric, afterall, was picking on Governor Palin during the infamous interviews, right? Miss Prissy Pants also claims to be a reformer. That must explain why she claimed thousands of dollars ($21,000 to be exact) on her Alaska expense report for the travel and hotel expenses of her children, who often travelled free to events they weren't even invited to. Furthermore, she went back later and 'cooked the books' to hide the fact. The actions of a true reformer. We have been assured by all involved that Mrs. Palin, just an average American woman, likes to shop. $150,000.00 in two months. $75,000 alone at Neiman-Marcus. On the GOP's plastic. Now, here is what I'm wondering. We can assume that all those designer outfits, shoes, jewelry, etc., were not bought to impress Joe The Plumber. And I doubt that you are impressed. And I'm not impressed. So, who, exactly, were the recipients of the glow of all that glam and glitter? I'd be willing to bet that there are a few very wealthy supporters of the McCain/Palin ticket who just LOVE her new look. But, oh well, she's giving it all to charity when the race is over. Last, but not least, according to an interview conducted with the Caribou Barbie just this week, she has an uncanny grasp and understanding of her upcoming duties as Vice President of the United States. And, oh, by the way, I have a nice igloo in Alaska I'd like to sell ya.

So the bottom line is that if, by some miracle of miracles, John McCain manages to pull his head out of his ass, not to mention our ass, and win this thing, Miss Prissy Pants could end up being one breath and one heartbeat away from the Presidency. The leader of the free world. I'm just guessing here, but I bet the leaders of the not-so-free parts of the world are already lying prone, saying their daily prayers to their 72 virgins, praying that if McCain becomes President, he soon takes a bigtime header all the way down the west steps of the Capitol. Barring cancer or a stroke, that is. But he is a young 72 and he's only had cancer Jesus only knows how many times. Not to worry. She's ready.

ROBOCALLS BACKFIRE

Once again, John McCain has exercised extremely poor judgement. His approval of the latest robocalling campaign and the lies contained therein have proven to be just another 'anything goes' disaster for him. Seems that most Americans view the calls as more negative for McCain than for his opponent. On top of everything else, John McCain employed the same company that provided the robocall smears against HIM in the 2000 campaign. Yes, the same company that issued the "McCain fathered a black love-child" robocall prior to the 2000 North Carolina GOP primary that pretty much creamed McCain's chances of winning anything. What a strange way of spending the remaining and limited funds available in the McCain campaign coffers. You might think, by now, that McCain's campaign people might have figured out that negative politics aren't working for them. You might think they would decide to stick with the economic issues or even McCain's policy on Iraq, the only issue where he has shown to be ahead of Obama in some of the polls. But no. Instead, they have proven that Obama was right again. Afterall, Obama did say in his acceptance speech at the Democratic convention, "John McCain just doesn't get it."

Take a minute and listen to only one of several different McCain robocalls that have been hitting the phone lines in 18 states since last Thursday. In addition to the fact that Obama has not and is not pal-ing around with Ayers, the 'facts' stated are complete fiction.



You can learn more about William Ayers and his brief encounter with Barack Obama at http://www.wikipedia.com/. Just type in "William Ayers" in their search browser.