MY VERY FIRST NUTSHELL REPORT

POLITICS IN GENERAL
You can’t make this stuff up. Next stop…Vice Presidential Debates! Personally, I can’t wait. Got my popcorn and bon-bons at the ready. Only thing that would make it more entertaining is if they could just mud-wrestle a bit?

PREZ BUSH
Is it 2009 yet?

JOHN MCCAIN
1. Okay, he’s a national hero.
2. HE IS A LIAR. Just ask David Letterman. And if he’ll lie to Letterman‘s face……
3. Let’s talk about his sense of judgement…..uh….two words….Sarah Palin.
4. McCain and wifey are worth $150,000,000...and he’s going to look out for the little guy? Right.
5. Does he really think the war is about saving us from terrorism? Now that IS scary.
6. If you like the way things have been going in the last 8 years....vote McCain. Put on your camo's and put your money in cash.

SARAH PALIN
Mrs. Prissy Pants desperate Rock of Love housewife and her husband, The First Dude. You’ve got to be freakin kidding me. I know, I know….she can see Russia from her house. Well, I can see the moon from mine…it doesn’t exactly make me a astronaut. But I’m ready……

BARACK OBAMA
1. I love him.
2. He represents.
3. He tells the truth.
4. A class act.
5. Will take steps to get the government back to working for us and our children.
5. If you are filthy, dirty rich AND greedy….you don’t like him much.
6. If you don’t believe that all men and women are created equal..you don’t like him much.
7. If you DON'T like the way things have been going for the last 8 years…Vote Obama. Put on your jammies, hang on to your loved ones, and get ready for a whole new America.

JOE BIDEN
1. I love him.
2. A man seriously devoted to his family and his country.
3. No bullshit guy. Yea, occasionally he talks himself into a pit, but his heart is in the right place.
4. A part of the solution…NOT a part of the problem.

THE ECONOMY
Seriously, peeps. Is anyone really surprised? The surprising part is that, once again, we are depending on the government to save us. Like they are saving Iraq. Like they saved the people of New Orleans. Oh, and then there’s the price of oil. Wonder who’s benefiting from that? Jeez. Greedy freakin bastards. Hang on to your boot straps (if you haven’t already put them on Ebay, that is.).

THE WAR
12 billion a month. We know it isn’t about WMD’s. And it isn’t about terrorists. So somebody out there, please explain to all of us, what exactly IS it about? (Hint: See ‘THE ECONOMY' above. It starts with an ‘O’. Texas>Bush>Chaney>fools. Only fools rush in where angels fear to tread)

HEALTH CARE
Oh, sure. The government will be good at this, too…. NOT! I'm thinking regulations, instead.

RELIGION
Muslims and Jews are wary of each other and Christians. Christians are wary of everyone. Bhuddists and Hindus are wary of nobody. All should be wary of The Universe. Each to their own. ALL men and women ARE created equal. And dinosaur bones were planted by mad scientists. hmmmm….But keep it out of the White House, pleeeeeeze.

GLOBAL WARMING AND OUR NEW GREEN LIFE
Baby, Its hot.


Watch for my 'Nutshell Report' on Friday when I will give you my take on the Vice-Presidential Debates!